Thoughts…
Sometimes I want to pull my hair out.
Why?
Well… it’s a long list of reasons. Mostly because, like most people on the planet, I want to direct my attention and efforts in a given area of choice but end up getting pulled every which way instead of the way I would choose. It’s a dance, a ballet of trying to keep up with all of the myriad of details that keep flinging themselves at you. It’s like trying to do speed grocery shopping with 17 toddlers running amok, all trying to shove things in their mouths and into your cart… throwing tantrums in isle 5, 6 and 7… disappearing down the magnet of the candy isle while you’re mired in the veggie section.
It’s like you’ve just sat down to paint a picture, all your paints are blended and lined up on your palette and the idea is shimmering brilliantly in your mind. You are about to launch into a masterpiece and just as you dip your brush in that deepest blue to draw that perfect horizon you notice that your car is somehow on fire in the driveway and you know you have to deal with it and all of the ensuing aftermath immediately. Your painting is done for the day and the horizon never made it onto the canvas. The shimmering idea, that masterpiece that might have been may still be there tomorrow or it too evaporates into the smoke of time.
Time is that precious commodity that like liquid cash there never seems to be enough of. Even sitting down to write this I realize all of the “shoulds” I should be doing, the “musts” I never seem to get to, the “woulds” that I would get to if I could hammer time to a stand still.
Time to think, time to breathe, time to just do nothing while something artful or thoughtful or soulful forms in your mind. We learn to deal with it, to sublimate desires in order wrangle the overwhelming avalanche of small things. Maybe this is the mountain we are all trying to climb in the hopes that the summit will reveal a Shangri-La valley on the other side, an oasis of peace, a place where time truly stands still. But usually what is revealed is a Toni Onley painting of endless peaks hazier and hazier as they stretch on to infinity.
I’ve learned to become a thief. A time thief who quietly steals it whenever and wherever possible without shame or remorse. Things do get done. Sometimes faster, sometimes slower, sometimes too late, sometimes just in the nick of time and sometimes things fall between the cracks and are forever lost. It is what it is… so ist das… c’est la vie…
My goal is to become the most stunning artful sneaky time thief that ever existed and still get all the shit done.
Wish me luck
🙂
by Ea Birkett
